eConsultant - Meaning of Liff

LAMLASH (n.) : The folder on hotel dressing-tables full of astoundingly dull information.
LARGOWARD (n.) : Motorists' name for the kind of pedestrian who stands beside a main road and waves on the traffic, as if it's their right of way.
LE TOUQUET (n.) : A mere nothing, an unconsidered trifle, a negligible amount. Un touquet is often defined as the difference between the cost of a bottle of gin bought in an off-licence and one bought in a duty-free shop.
LIFF (n.) : A book, the contents of which are totally belied by its cover. For instance, any book the dust jacket of which bears the words. 'This book will change your life'.
LIMERIGG (vb.) : To jar one's leg as the result of the disappearance of a stair which isn't there in the darkness.
LINDISFARNE (adj.) : Descriptive of the pleasant smell of an empty biscuit tin.
LISTOWEL (n.) : The small mat on the bar designed to be more absorbent than the bar, but not as absorbent as your elbows.
LITTLE URSWICK (n.) : The member of any class who most inclines a teacher towards the view that capital punishment should be introduced in schools.
LLANELLI (adj.) : Descriptive of the waggling movement of a person's hands when shaking water from them or warming up for a piece of workshop theatre.
LOCHRANZA (n.) : The long unaccomplished wail in the middle of a Scottish folk song where the pipes nip around the corner for a couple of drinks.
LONGNIDDRY (n.) : A droplet which persists in running out of your nose.
LOSSIEMOUTH (n.) : One of those middle-aged ladies with just a hint of a luxuriant handlebar moustache.
LOUTH (n.) : The sort of man who wears loud check jackets, has a personalised tankard behind the bar and always gets served before you do.
LOW ARDWELL (n.) : Seductive remark made hopefully in the back of a taxi.
LOW EGGBOROUGH (n.) : A quiet little unregarded man in glasses who is building a new kind of atomic bomb in his garden shed.
LOWER PEOVER (n.) : Common solution to the problems of a humby (q.v.)
LOWESTOFT (n.) : (a) The balls of wool which collect on nice new sweaters. (b) The correct name for 'navel fluff'.
LOWTHER (vb.) : (Of a large group of people who have been to the cinema together.) To stand aimlessly about on the pavement and argue about whether to go and eat either a Chinese meal nearby or an Indian meal at a restaurant which somebody says is very good but isn't certain where it is, or have a drink and think about it, or just go home, or have a Chinese meal nearby - until by the time agreement is reached everything is shut.
LUBCROY (n.) : The telltale little lump in the top of your swimming trunks which tells you are going to have to spend half an hour with a safety pin trying to pull the drawstring out again.
LUDLOW (n.) : A wad of newspaper, folded tablenapkin or lump of cardboard put under a wobbly table or chair to make it stand up straight. It is perhaps not widely known that air-ace Sir Douglas Bader used to get about on an enormous pair of ludlows before he had his artificial legs fitted.
LUFFENHAM (n.) : Feeling you get when the pubs aren't going to be open for another fortyfive minutes and the luffness is beginning to wear a bit thin.
LUFFNESS (n.) : Hearty feeling that comes from walking on the moors with gumboots and cold ears.
LULWORTH (n.) : Measure of conversation. A lulworth defines the amount of the length, loudness and embarrassment of a statement you make when everyone else in the room unaccountably stops talking at the same time.
LUPPITT (n.) : The piece of leather which hangs off the bottom of your shoe before you can be bothered to get it mended.
LUSBY (n.) : The fold of flesh pushing forward over the top of a bra which is too small for the lady inside it.
LUTON (n.) : The horseshoe-shaped rug which goes around a lavatory seat.
LYBSTER (n., vb.) : The artificial chuckle in the voice-over at the end of a supposedly funny television commercial.
LYDIARD TREGOZE (n.) : The opposite of a mavis enderby (q.v.) An unrequited early love of your life who still causes terrible pangs though she inexplicably married a telephone engineer.